So it’s just over a month to go. How scary is that? I’m going to be responsible for a little human being! You’d think there’d be laws against it…
Farrah and I are really excited about meeting him, but with a healthy dose of terrified! It’s like nothing we’ve ever done before, and it’s starting to feel closer to reality than a dream. There are all these fears going around about will I be a good Dad, will I drop him out of a window by accident, will I be able to discipline him in a healthy way, etc. etc. But when it comes down to it I know that I love him. Even now, before I’ve even seen him, I love him in such an amazing new way, like nothing I’ve felt before.
The Bible says that we love because God first loved us. I think that this new expression of love is giving me a new understanding of God’s love. I’ve experienced my parents’ love for me, my love for my family, old and young, my love for Farrah which is like nothing else, and my love for my cat, which is different again. But this is yet another new expression of love, and I think it speaks about God’s father heart for us, his creation, his children. How painful it must be for God when we rebel or ignore him, but how amazing when we talk to him and spend time with him.
I know that I can love my son, in spite of my fear of failure, because I’ve been loved by a perfect Father.